I stand in awe of your glory
Afraid of you
Disconnected from your will and presence
I’m surrounded by your wonder
Having had a life of pain and trauma
Choked by it
Inhabited by it
Feeling lost, unworthy, broken, bruised
Tricked, teased
Under construction
The phrase:
“what have you done for me lately?”
Ringing in the back of my head
I struggle to connect with you
Don’t know what happiness looks like
Forgotten what joy and peace is
Knowing what I find rewarding
Knowing what makes my heart beat
Struggling to find purpose
Struggling to trust it
Trust me
For a lot of accountability I’ve taken
For most of it – not needed
Then who’s to blame
Under construction spiritually
Mentally exhausted
Emotionally broken
An unstable seesaw
Everyday a battle
Optimistically pursuing goals
Fighting to defeat hopelessness
Quick to anger
Resistant to love
To let ‘em in
Confidently knowing
I have a lot of love given to me
A lot of love to give
Confidently knowing
If given the chance
The opportunities
The platform
It will not be mismanaged
It will not be neglected
It will be used to its fullest potential
It will be cherished
For it you will be praised
Take my life if it isn’t
If I don’t
Take my life for failing you
For dishonoring your gift
A self-assurance is taking form
Last curtain call has been rescheduled
Fire growing bigger
Diablo won’t win
Discernment heightened
Diablo won’t win
Shedding dead weight
Pushing through the crowds of negativity
Diablo won’t win
Village solid
Back stronger
Shoulders back more
Head high more
What seems impossible today
Will be the testimony I tell tomorrow
No matter the demotivation or darkness
I somehow consistently showed up
That which was important
Reminder yes I can
I’m told I’m a
Conqueror, survivor, blessed
Warrior, very strong
Apparently that’s what they see in me
I pause
I exhale
Fed by the spirit of Hattie, Lamar, Lawrence, and Amanda
Let’s see what me and the rest of this life gonna be!
Comments