In the hollow of my bones, a landscape of loss,
Memories like shattered glass, cutting deep across
The terrain of a life where safety was a ghost,
Where love was a promise that always came with a cost.
Grandparents - my sanctuary, my only true north
Torn from me like pages ripped from a book of worth
Their warmth, their shield - a fleeting dream
Left me exposed to a world that was never what it seemed
Every year, another wound, another name to mourn
Grandmother's passing - my world violently torn
A brother, a father, loved ones slipping away
Leaving behind a silence that continues to fray
Good enough? Never. Safe? A foreign land
Trauma etched into my skin like an unforgiving brand
Six years of darkness, a marathon of pain
Falling, always falling, like perpetual rain
Who is this healed self I've never known?
A phantom whisper, a seed unsown
Forty-one years of knowing only the broken
The narrative of failure, repeatedly spoken
I've carried the weight of neglect and abandonment's sting
Of those who should have loved me, who did everything but cling
Left with echoes of hurt, of promises unkept
Of a heart that's been battered, bruised, and wept
Meet me, healed self - if you dare exist
Emerge from the shadows where hope still persists
For I am tired of this fragmented reflection
Yearning for wholeness, for some connection
This is not a plea for redemption or light
This is a scream, a raw, unfiltered fight
Against the narrative that has defined my days
Against the pain that refuses to part ways
I stand here - broken, yet breathing
Waiting for the moment of truly believing
That somewhere beneath this landscape of sorrow
Might exist a glimpse of a different tomorrow.
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