It happened and now it is done. It hurt you. You’re broken. You’re demotivated, angry, and in disbelief. Your trust was broken. Your expectations weren’t met. Now what? You will be ok.
A lot of times when you’ve gone through so much it’s hard to believe. If you feel like things have been coming at you nonstop with no break, those thoughts and feelings are exponentially greater. God forbid you feel like you gotta suffer in silence or don’t know who to turn to….God forbid you blame yourself and can’t shake that guilt…if you’ve pressed and pushed with no alleviation or progression - your faith is battered. Emotionally and mentally, most people are a blender of mess.
That doesn’t have to define you. You may have to modify a few things. Your timeline may have to be extended. Don’t let this defeat you. Don’t let this destroy you. You are not done. I want you to get your fire back!
It will not be easy. It will not be quick. It will not be without a few obstacles. It will not be without a few uncomfortable moments. What it will be is worth it. Nothing is worth your self esteem. Nothing is worth your peace of mind. Nothing is worth your growth or healing. Nothing is worth that joy being sustained. Nothing definitely ain’t worth that fire inside of you burning bright, big, and bold.
1. Stop carrying guilt for something that wasn’t your fault.
2. Someone breaking your trust, heart, bond, etc…it was about them not you. Stop beating yourself up about it. Love isn't worth fighting for, if you're the only one fighting for it.
3. It is ok to be guarded and cautious. In fact I recommend it. However, make sure that guard/wall you have up is protecting you not restricting you. You still need to live. Many will use their “guard/wall” to take the easy way out. You not doing nothing but putting a bandaid over something that needs surgery….you’re not benefitting yourself at all.
4. Take a self eval. If you messed up, if you had a part to play…forgive yourself, take notes of where you went wrong, and remember the signs so that next time you can check yourself and nip whatever in the bud. Growing can sometimes be painful, but so is staying the same.
5. Stop giving people so many chances. Don’t be stuck on stupid. When someone makes you more frustrated than calm, more stressed than relaxed, maybe it's time to find a new someone. Kick 'em out stage left!
6. Stop doing the same thing expecting to get different results.
7. Teach everyone in your life how to treat you and don’t accept anything less. For your own mental health, block, delete, avoid, or ignore anyone who shows you they aren’t meeting expectations. Do not let family be an exception!!!!
8. The people who you spend most of your time with, do they help you achieve your goals or sit back and watch you while you achieve them? If they not helping what’s their purpose? Goodbye!
9. You can do bad by yourself. Don’t let someone come into your life and make it worse. Every person you have some kind of relationship with; be it family, friends, associates, or by way of business…the relationship needs to enhance your life not stress it. If they stress it, let ‘em go.
10. Just because y’all share affiliations, bloodline, or history; you don’t have to let them treat you any kind of way. Once again - teach people how to treat you and those that don’t measure up - cut 'em off or deal with them from a distance.
11. You need to be selfish with you at least once a week. Feed yourself internally, sleep, rest, whatever you want to do….but give yourself that no matter what.
12. Hold yourself at the same level or reproach that you hold other people. Be for others what you expect them to be for you.
Get your fire back! Start off small and build each day. Overwhelming yourself will stunt your growth. Behind every smile is a story of numerous challenges and hardships that were overcome. The challenges around you are nothing compared to the determination within you. Remember, no one has ever achieved anything truly great without going through extreme adversity.
As you get your fire back. People, places, and things will not be the same. Some may say you’re acting different. Dangit, you are because you’re growing and you want more for yourself. Those that matter will understand. So, some you will need to completely cut off or some just may need to wait. When I say wait I mean this. Everyone can’t go with you where God is taking you. Some will have to let you go on the journey without them and when you get there, you can reach back and get them. The people that are quick to walk away are the ones that never intended to stay.
Become addicted to constant and never-ending self-improvement. The best part about moving on is that you make room to give who's meant to come into your life the space to do so. Never forget you’re in charge of your own happiness. Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone. The foundation of a strong self comes from small acts of daily discipline.
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