I chose to try something different. I chose to reprogram myself, more so my mind, to focus on what I am grateful for. I’m not looking for delusion or a distraction. The same stressors still exist. Still weighed down. Still one step away from being content with giving up on everything and actually doing it.
Emotionally, mentally, spiritually – I am still in a very funky, sticky, and vulnerable place. I no longer carry guilt or blame. What’s the issue? Why am I still stuck in this intersection? The seesaw of life and emotional rollercoaster of emotions has continued to torture me with no break for 2.5 years now! No intermission and no halftime. HE caused and allowed it, so HE needs to fix it. It all went from deserving to unfair and me deciding to not make this part of the journey my fault or problem. I’m choosing every day to give attention to things I’m grateful for.
My job, car, own residence, podcast, food, traveling mercies, energy, motivation, and certain people & interactions; things I find myself being grateful for on a daily basis. This has given me a degree of peace and rest (mentally & emotionally) that I didn’t expect. Brokenness and negative emotions are still present. However, I’m not consumed by it. It’s not constantly on the forefront of my mind. I still very much know and feel that they still exist.
They’re just in the same room, but not in my presence.
I don’t know the role this will play in my journey. I don’t know if the affects will be short term, long term, or both. I do know that this mindset is doing something positive. I do know that I am optimistic and intrigued to see how this mindset enhances me. What will its role be in my new normal and journey? So much trauma and brokenness had existed that purpose for gratitude was scarce and taboo. Now it seems like the only option left… a hail mary… if this don’t work then - to hell with it all.
There is something in giving thanks that seems to increase happiness. Me showing gratitude for the things I mentioned earlier, and then some, consist of me saying “God I thank you for this” or “God I thank you for that”! I was pleasantly surprised to come across an article from Forbes Magazine that spoke about 7 scientifically proven benefits of gratitude, and they are:
Gratitude opens the door to more relationships
Gratitude improves physical health
Gratitude improves psychological health
Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression
Grateful people sleep better
Gratitude improves self-esteem
Gratitude increases mental strength
The website, www.mindbodygreen.com, provided some additional benefits to gratitude that stood out to me…such as:
Stress release
Calm down in tough moments
Promotes selflessness
Cope through emotional trauma
We all know that gratitude is all about the expression of appreciation. Every day, since I decided to give this mindset a chance; it’s evident that the mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical ramifications are positive. As I stated earlier, the last option…a hail mary…....
I don’t want to practice gratitude because I live a happy life. I want to live a happy life because I practice gratitude.
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