Peace of mind and relaxation is so freakin’ important to me. I can’t even explain how important it is in my life on a daily basis. In my 20s it wasn’t a priority nor was I aware of its importance. As a teen or younger, I didn’t even know or care about a peace of mind or relaxing. I was just constantly on the go, constantly searching for something, constantly running from something, and constantly being of service or use to others. This in some ways caused me to go through life through a blur and numbness.
Be it that I am someone who is hugely ambitious and hardworking, it is important for me to understand the need for rejuvenation. I don’t like just 1 income nor do I like just having 1 thing going on in my life. Listen….even times where my health wasn’t what it should’ve been, I was still working towards some kind of goal that had nothing to do with my current situation at that time. I spent a lot of my life making others a priority. Going places because they wanted me to go, doing things because they wanted me to do it, putting on this persona or identity…or at least trying to…because it was who certain people wanted me to be.
I would ignore what I wanted and needed, because it was as if my validation and happiness lied in being used for other’s purpose. Their opinion and feelings, I allowed to dictate my life. This caused me to allow or ignore things in certain friendships/relationships that I normally wouldn’t. It caused me to be loyal to people who didn’t deserve it. It caused me to give so much of myself and never getting anything back in return. It was like a bank account. You spend all of your money and when there’s nothing coming back your account is in the negative, unless you don’t have no overdraft protection on your account. That’s how I was emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I gave of myself completely to others and their drama or situation. When I would go through my shit, I ignored it or neglected it. I continued to give give give and I wasn’t getting anything back. This caused me on MANY occasions to be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually broken…numb…exhausted.
Baby when I realized what made me happy…when I realized that harm I had been doing to myself all these 25+ years by neglecting myself…when I realized that relationships and friendships that had to go….when I realized the necessary tools and faucets in my life that I needed to acquire or improve, if I wanted to be the best me I could be and reach the potential that God is orchestrating for me…..I’ve never been so happy in my life. Shoulders back, head high, love and peace in my heart, clear sight for discernment, and a necessary people purge…has solidified my renewed foundation and sense of being. People purge was one of the top 3 components that helped me to get where I am. Anyone who is not conducive to the life I work hard for, the person I am and am still becoming, the standards I have for myself and my life…they ass gots to go; I don’t care if we share bloodline, sexual fluids, organizational affiliations, or life experiences.
One of the many things I’ve realized over these past 12 months, is that I can maneuver easily through life’s hurdles. I am strong and happy, not sporadically but consistently. I can accept nothing less than my worth, with no exceptions. The requirements that I have for people who are to be in my life romantically, platonically, professionally, and with my family…if the expectations and requirements aren’t met, they are either distanced or thrown out of my life faster than Usain Bolt can run a 100 meters.
You know too much stress is not good for you but you can’t help it. There’s never enough time and stress never goes away. So you accept the stress as it is. You stay stressed thinking that’s your fate. No matter how busy you are, there are people who need to handle even bigger responsibilities, goals, busier schedule and more relationships. Most of them burn out. But some refuse to stay stressed. The difference between the stressed and the calm is not the amount of load in life, it’s how they handle the load.
It’s easy to relax when life is all good and you have the time. Relaxing is the act of consciously taking time for yourself to recharge and lower your stress hormone level. It could mean a good night’s sleep, a walk in nature, a long meditation session, taking a shower, watching Netflix or whichever way you wish to relax. Relaxation is the cure for stress. Keeping calm is the prevention. It is the skill of having peace of mind despite the chaos of life. It requires you to not let the environment affect your cortisol level.
Chronic stress harms the pre-frontal cortex of your brain which regulates memory, attention, behavior, emotions, and thoughts…including decision making and planning. All these are critical for high-performance. When your cortisol levels stay high, you live in the survival mode. Your amygdala region of the brain stays activated which is responsible for the fight-or-flight response. When you stay calm, you keep your cortisol under control and use your pre-frontal cortex to live proactively.
A peaceful place is somewhere you can go to slow down, reflect, and engage in enjoyable activities. You can be alone or with others who you find relaxing to be around. A place that doesn’t demand anything of you or expect you to be someone you’re not – where you can just be. In your own space, you can be noisy or quiet, or work on activities and interests that you are passionate about, read, or otherwise escape life’s daily stresses and routines. Other options besides a special room in the home include the bathtub, backyard or community garden, and a nearby park.
When you’re at peace – when you are engaged with life while also feeling relatively relaxed, calm, and safe – you are protected from stress, your immune system grows stronger, and you become more resilient. Your outlook brightens and you see more opportunities. In relationships, feeling at peace prevents overreactions, increases the odds of being treated well by others, and supports you in being clear and direct when you need to be.
Having the peace that passeth all understanding is a powerful tool for anyone to have in their life. It makes room for rejuvenation, reflection, health, and destiny. It aids in bringing us to our center…to our nucleus…any kind of damage control or adapting is easier and our entire internal infrastructure is sustainable.
A website entitled, Exploring Your Mind, provided 7 steps to having relaxation and peace of mind:
1. Set limits
2. Find a relaxation technique that works for you
3. Do not make a mountain of a molehill
4. Slow down
5. Put your world in order and throw out what you have too much of or don’t need (people or things)
6. Accept and let go
7. Solve your problems now
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